A lot of the reading in class lately has been about handling stress. That got me thinking about the difference between worrying and handling stress. While worrying about the future or some present situation can be stressful, experiencing stress doesn't necessarily have anything to do with worrying. You can simply be in a difficult situation that has resolutions, but difficult resolutions. Or you can be in a difficult situation with no resolutions. Unlike worrying, it's not simply a matter of letting it go because nothing can be done, because you still have to experience the stress regardless of what you do.
Of course, I thought about this as one class ended and a new class begins on Monday. I enjoyed my noon class, and took a moment to wonder about what will become of all of the students and when I will see them again. There were some tense moments at times when I had to be a drill sergeant and make everyone catch up because of all the holidays, snow days where nobody came even though we had class, and the habit of many of them coming late. But they all did an excellent job on the test, which means they learned and I taught in an effective way. Unfortunately, I will likely be moving down several levels from my advanced class, to level 4. That's the same level that I teach on Sunday's and almost drives me crazy because it's so simple and monotonous, yet they barely understand any of it. On top of that, a day after getting perfect reviews on my observations from my supervisor, she told me that some students (she couldn't remember which class, which wasn't helpful) complained that we didn't vary the activities enough, and learned grammar and vocab from the book too much. That was strange timing, as this morning I woke up and remembered fondly how much more fun it had been to teach in San Francisco because I could vary the activities without focusing on grammar so much. Then again, we had much more time, no syllabus, and plenty of interesting resources at our disposal, including mandatory field trips once a month. We don't have any of that at this place. So of course I hear this as the classes are ending and I move to lower levels who have barely any grasp of the language, which severely limits activities such as outside reading, video clips or discussions.
Which brings me back to handling stress. A few mostly small inconveniences or criticisms can bring long-term frustrations to the fore, and I was in a sour mood when I got home. But then I got an encouraging e-mail, and saw an excellent video clip on Facebook, and got reminded that it was one of my friend's birthdays and they were having drinks downtown in a few hours. I just got back, and even though I only had one drink, the conversation had energized me enough to run up the stairs and back to my apartment. Sometimes I underestimate the effect that positive interactions have on health and energy. I've been feeling low energy since I got to New York, and I realized that in Japan I was always brimming with energy to write after work because I was leaving a room full of excited kindergartners or walking away from an exciting conversation with advanced adults. And in California I was tired a lot from the hills and lack of social interaction, but my classes were varied and interesting enough for some inspiration, even though I ultimately became tired of the position and wanted to come back East. It's important to remember how much of our energy and strength comes from other people.
One of the conversations that really cheered me up was when an engineer who worked in sales asked me what I did, and I explained one connection to the birthday boy involving him subletting my apartment when I left the city for a few years. This prompted questions about where I had been, and that led to more questions, and more questions, and I found myself saying that these experiences had been investments in both short-term living while young and long-term experiences to draw from. Despite all the frustrations of the work situations, I feel lucky in the long run.
Of course, I thought about this as one class ended and a new class begins on Monday. I enjoyed my noon class, and took a moment to wonder about what will become of all of the students and when I will see them again. There were some tense moments at times when I had to be a drill sergeant and make everyone catch up because of all the holidays, snow days where nobody came even though we had class, and the habit of many of them coming late. But they all did an excellent job on the test, which means they learned and I taught in an effective way. Unfortunately, I will likely be moving down several levels from my advanced class, to level 4. That's the same level that I teach on Sunday's and almost drives me crazy because it's so simple and monotonous, yet they barely understand any of it. On top of that, a day after getting perfect reviews on my observations from my supervisor, she told me that some students (she couldn't remember which class, which wasn't helpful) complained that we didn't vary the activities enough, and learned grammar and vocab from the book too much. That was strange timing, as this morning I woke up and remembered fondly how much more fun it had been to teach in San Francisco because I could vary the activities without focusing on grammar so much. Then again, we had much more time, no syllabus, and plenty of interesting resources at our disposal, including mandatory field trips once a month. We don't have any of that at this place. So of course I hear this as the classes are ending and I move to lower levels who have barely any grasp of the language, which severely limits activities such as outside reading, video clips or discussions.
Which brings me back to handling stress. A few mostly small inconveniences or criticisms can bring long-term frustrations to the fore, and I was in a sour mood when I got home. But then I got an encouraging e-mail, and saw an excellent video clip on Facebook, and got reminded that it was one of my friend's birthdays and they were having drinks downtown in a few hours. I just got back, and even though I only had one drink, the conversation had energized me enough to run up the stairs and back to my apartment. Sometimes I underestimate the effect that positive interactions have on health and energy. I've been feeling low energy since I got to New York, and I realized that in Japan I was always brimming with energy to write after work because I was leaving a room full of excited kindergartners or walking away from an exciting conversation with advanced adults. And in California I was tired a lot from the hills and lack of social interaction, but my classes were varied and interesting enough for some inspiration, even though I ultimately became tired of the position and wanted to come back East. It's important to remember how much of our energy and strength comes from other people.
One of the conversations that really cheered me up was when an engineer who worked in sales asked me what I did, and I explained one connection to the birthday boy involving him subletting my apartment when I left the city for a few years. This prompted questions about where I had been, and that led to more questions, and more questions, and I found myself saying that these experiences had been investments in both short-term living while young and long-term experiences to draw from. Despite all the frustrations of the work situations, I feel lucky in the long run.
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